…Boat sinks… Which one do you save first?

Strange thought of mine, I know.

I just wondered, while watching an ep. of Mad Men tonight on Netflix (luv the series). Because we all know these two are so often paired. Why? Because they supposedly are as equally addictive? Ever noticed you have a cowboy’s breath when you come to have them unfiltered or unsweetened ? Nevertheless, coffee is good for you and your brain, just ask Voltaire (up to 60 cups a day), or Swift. Whereas cigarettes…Not exactly replenishing…

Coffee and cigarettes…Oh, I almost forgot… and alcohol… Now that’s just the perfect attire for a man . Or  shall I write The Man? It has been so in the collective unconsciousness of the Western world for decades. At least on screen. And the perfume of masculinity that rides besides them is so strong, it’s hard to decorrelate one from another without bruising the image of what the French call the “éternel masculin” (immortal masculinity). Curiously enough (curiously, really? “curiously”? are you kidding me?), oldies are packed with this trio of little geniuses.

Particularly in the Noir movies (dish of choice for me). Meet Bogie in the Maltese Falcon, Casablanca, To have an have not, see Fred McMurray and Robert Mitchum… Recent movies too. Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs…

Over the years, in the industry, alcohol’s part shrank and almost disappeared, became as nearly as invisible sometimes (unless you expose some one with a liquor problem). Nicotine put one foot in the grave when battles against some companies were being fought on grounds of endangering the health of their customers. And with the ban of cig’s on working premises and more justice battles,  Sister Nicotina took place in her little coffin adorned with bills of laws and amendments and rules and blablabla law-ish (not mocking, just explaining).

But the lid has not been ordered (free country, free will, free smoking in my car/tub/house/loo/closet… ah-ah…gotcha!) . Too bad…

So there she lies, glorious as a nearly defunct tyrannic queen,…but… still breathing on her iron lung (addictive substances and image of coolness, maybe?). So how can the industry in L.A. escape this dilemma (real cool men smoke, and drink booze and fuel on caffeine) ?

They make historical series. Clever.

The hard part, though, may be to find actors that …smoke. (Yeap, might be difficult, since every one is keen on protecting their capital-health). Coolness has shifted. Now, it’s cool NOT to smoke and NOT to drink. And to have a moderate (or better, extra-low) consumption of caffeine (You know, deaaar, only when it’s mango-eating days.My diet).

Take Don Draper and his Mad Men crew, for instance… They almost chain-smoke all episode long. They begin to tackle old Johnnie RedJacket as early as 10 in the morning sometimes. They swallow gallons of coffee (ok, the american bottomless mug o’joe has no equivalent on earth and every European expresso makes a corn-fed and happiness-bred Yankee cough until next Christmas 😉 but anyhow…). They keep talking to each other well within the courtesy zone. And they kiss/sh*ahem*ag their lovers/spouses/secretaries/fiancees (choose) and embrace them strongly enough for them to be covered with those substances (metaphorical). And no one seems to notice that the cowboy’s back from hell.

Because, come on, have you ever kissed/talked to a guy who’s been smoking not light cigarettes, and about nearly 40 of them, and had a whisky one too many and his mouth…ahem… lips coated  with several layers of caffeine? It’s not the handsome model  freshly groomed and having chewed his whitening paste for 3 minutes posing for a famous cigarette brand near a campside fire, darling.

Nope.

We all have friends who are heavy smokers (but being a lighter smoker doesn’t prevent from dragon breath either) and do not have the glorious habit of brushing their teeth after each puff. I had several colleagues like that. One to one Meetings were…hum…started with the offering of a chewing gum. On unlucky days, gum was refused.

O gosh.

Caffeine is something we can manage pretty nicely behind the lips,  no big deal on the overall image. But Nicotina…aaargggh.

So if I happened to be on that particular boat one day, I’ll save lady Caffeine and let Nicotine drink her death.

Source : Pinterest meetovercoffee

I have spoken.